This is it. Tris's Fear Landscape. She has mentally prepared herself, so she feels as ready as she can be. First fear? Birds. She has realized that this fear isn't about the birds, rather it is about a lack of control. In order to face the fear, she must feel like she has control over the situation. She remembers the power she felt the first time she fired a gun, and just like that, one materializes near her. She busts caps in those dang crows! First fear? CHECK.
Second fear? The glass tank. She isn't afraid of drowning, she is afraid of being too weak to break the tank. It seems all of her fears are related to some form of self-doubt. She hits the glass, expecting it to break like it did the first time she faced this fear, but something is different. It doesn't work. It isn't until she imagines the tank is ice that she is able to escape. Second fear has been faced as well.
Third fear? Another one dealing with feeling out of control; being swept away by the ocean waves. Her body is being slammed into a rock and she is trying desperately to cling onto it to prevent herself from drifting out to sea. Finally, she convinces herself that she is strong enough to climb atop of the rock and run inland. Her third fear dissipates.
Her fourth fear is one she has already faced before; being burned at the stake by Peter while the other initiates simply watch it happen. As the fire is creeping up the pole she is bound to, she realizes she just has to think it through. She can't actually get hurt. "Smell that, Stiff?" Peter cackles. He is just trying to get in her head. "I smell rain," she retorts cleverly. Suddenly thunderclouds appear overhead and rain drenches the fire.
The fifth fear she encounters confused me a lot. She is back in the Abnegation sector when she is confronted by dozens of faceless beings, trying to attack her. I have no idea where this fear came from, or how it connects to her mentally. She picks up the gun she imagines is in the closet, only to find that she won't have enough bullets. Bodies are pouring into the room from every opening. She retreats to the closet. When she notices the door she thought was a wall, she escapes from that unusual fear as quickly as she can.
Not going to lie, I know I'm immature, but her sixth fear is really funny. She is afraid of becoming intimate with Tobias. To put it in simpler terms... She is scared to have sex with him.. Sorry to be blunt, but it gets my point across. Awkward for Eric and the others watching her simulation. I couldn't take this fear seriously at all. She tells him she isn't going to sleep with him, and then starts kissing him.. I don't know how that turns out to be the way she gets over that fear, but she did something right.
Finally, she is being held at gun point and will be shot if she doesn't shoot her family. The woman holding the gun turns out to be Jeanine. Figures. I knew she was bad news. She beings counting down and Tris can't tear her eyes away from her family. They are all willing to take a bullet for her, even Caleb, being they came from Abnegation. She tells herself she can do it. It is the only way to get over her final fear... Or is it?! Impulsively, she drops her gun, and presses her forehead to the gun Jeanine is holding. Jeanine's count reaches one. "I hear a click, and a bang." WHAT?! Is Tris going to die? Certainly she can't, this is only a simulation, right? RIGHT?!
"I have to take control of the situation and find a way to make it less frightening."
Monday, May 20, 2013
Chapter 29
So before I start, the last post was over a much longer chapter than this one, so I'm sorry if this one is significantly shorter than the post for Chapter 28. Now, apologies out of the way, it is time to tell what happens today in the exciting life of Tris!
Initiation day. Today we will find out if Tris is going to become a member of the Dauntless. Haha who am I kidding? We all know she is going to make it! Duh! Tris gets food from the dining hall and decides to take it back to the dormitory where it is quiet. She realizes that the food on her plate is all Abnegation type food. I think even though she is proud of how far she's come, there is still a part of her that misses her home and family. But, she pushes the thought from her head, as there isn't much she can do about it now.
She takes a nap, probably to escape from her busy mind. I can relate to that. She is woken up by Christina. "Time to go." It is time for her to face her Fear Landscape. She walks to the Pit with the rest of the initiates. It is packed with people. And when I say packed, I mean like a can of sardines. On her way there, she realizes others have already begun. She takes note of Marlene, who just recently finished her Fear Landscape. Dauntless born initiates are to go first, then the transfers. Because they start at the bottom on the rankings and work their way up, Tris will go last. Best for last, right?
Tris closes her eyes, as the simulations aren't entertaining to watch since only those hooked up to the computers can see what is going on. She hears the score of every one of her fellow initiates before she is up. She knows exactly how well she must do in order to become a member of the Dauntless faction. Soon enough, she is up. Eric injects her with the serum.
"Ready?" he asks.
Initiation day. Today we will find out if Tris is going to become a member of the Dauntless. Haha who am I kidding? We all know she is going to make it! Duh! Tris gets food from the dining hall and decides to take it back to the dormitory where it is quiet. She realizes that the food on her plate is all Abnegation type food. I think even though she is proud of how far she's come, there is still a part of her that misses her home and family. But, she pushes the thought from her head, as there isn't much she can do about it now.
She takes a nap, probably to escape from her busy mind. I can relate to that. She is woken up by Christina. "Time to go." It is time for her to face her Fear Landscape. She walks to the Pit with the rest of the initiates. It is packed with people. And when I say packed, I mean like a can of sardines. On her way there, she realizes others have already begun. She takes note of Marlene, who just recently finished her Fear Landscape. Dauntless born initiates are to go first, then the transfers. Because they start at the bottom on the rankings and work their way up, Tris will go last. Best for last, right?
Tris closes her eyes, as the simulations aren't entertaining to watch since only those hooked up to the computers can see what is going on. She hears the score of every one of her fellow initiates before she is up. She knows exactly how well she must do in order to become a member of the Dauntless faction. Soon enough, she is up. Eric injects her with the serum.
"Ready?" he asks.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Chapter 28
So Tris is on her own after the drama with Four went down. She is wandering around and finds herself near the train tracks. She can't go back to Dauntless compound or to her family in Abnegation, and her mom did tell her to visit Caleb. Oh heck, why not? Nothing bad will happen, right? WRONG. But we will get to that later.
Now Tris finds herself in the middle of the Erudite compound and I'm sure she is sticking out like a sore thumb. She, dressed in all black in the center of a faction that's main color is blue, blends right in, right? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say stealth isn't one of her talents. The faction members part like the Red Sea to let her through for God's sake. Obviously she doesn't care that much though because she continues right into the Erudite headquarters, which is a library.. Go figure. She is asking a man behind the front desk where she can find Caleb, and thankfully, right before she is about to open a can of whoopass on him, Caleb intervenes.
She hugs him, even though she knows she isn't supposed to, and it made my little heart so happy. He is just surprised to see her new look as she is to see his. They have both changed so much since the last time they saw each other, and I doubt they think the other has changed for the better. They go to sit near a sculpture of a giant bean (THE BEAN) to talk. Caleb seems to be liking Erudite so far. He mentions appreciating having knowledge at his finger tips. Because of that, he knows something big is happening. The whole faction is gossiping like teenage girls about Abnegation. That is actually a great metaphor, because hardly anyone knows the truth too! Caleb and Tris begin getting sassy with each other and Tris tries to storm off. Tries..
She is taken by two Erudite men into the headquarters to see... Jeanine. *DUN DUN DUN* Jeanine is being rather unpleasant, so Tris is back talking every chance she gets. Even though I knew it might get her in trouble if she wasn't careful, I couldn't help but laugh. Unfortunately she has to lie to keep herself out of trouble, and this includes talking down on her home faction and sounding really cocky. It made me appreciative that she isn't always like that.
Tris arrives back in the Dauntless compound and has to force the wrath of Eric. Oh dear lord, help her now. Thank god before he can snap, Four walks in. He is going to save the day, I just know it! He helps Tris with a fabulous lie to tell Eric; Tris tried to kiss Four, but he rejected her and she ran off crying. Eric believes it because he wants to find anything to make Tris seem vulnerable. This gets Tris out of trouble, and out of a room with Eric. Four leaves as well and kisses her. DAWH. He tells her to meet him later.. Scandalous.....
Before it is time for her to meet Four, she has a conversation with Christina back in the dorm. She finds out Will and Christina have a thing going on! She also finds out about the Candor initiation, and Christina's fear of moths. But after whole mumbojumbo, she finds herself in a train car with Four, heading towards the Erudite compound. Things get pretty serious on the trip there with all of their kissing and what not! Anyhow, back to the important issue. Four reveals something life changing. Dauntless and Erudite are planning to team up on a war against Abnegation.
"And I am someone who does not let inconsequential things like boys and near death experiences stop her."
Now Tris finds herself in the middle of the Erudite compound and I'm sure she is sticking out like a sore thumb. She, dressed in all black in the center of a faction that's main color is blue, blends right in, right? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say stealth isn't one of her talents. The faction members part like the Red Sea to let her through for God's sake. Obviously she doesn't care that much though because she continues right into the Erudite headquarters, which is a library.. Go figure. She is asking a man behind the front desk where she can find Caleb, and thankfully, right before she is about to open a can of whoopass on him, Caleb intervenes.
She hugs him, even though she knows she isn't supposed to, and it made my little heart so happy. He is just surprised to see her new look as she is to see his. They have both changed so much since the last time they saw each other, and I doubt they think the other has changed for the better. They go to sit near a sculpture of a giant bean (THE BEAN) to talk. Caleb seems to be liking Erudite so far. He mentions appreciating having knowledge at his finger tips. Because of that, he knows something big is happening. The whole faction is gossiping like teenage girls about Abnegation. That is actually a great metaphor, because hardly anyone knows the truth too! Caleb and Tris begin getting sassy with each other and Tris tries to storm off. Tries..
She is taken by two Erudite men into the headquarters to see... Jeanine. *DUN DUN DUN* Jeanine is being rather unpleasant, so Tris is back talking every chance she gets. Even though I knew it might get her in trouble if she wasn't careful, I couldn't help but laugh. Unfortunately she has to lie to keep herself out of trouble, and this includes talking down on her home faction and sounding really cocky. It made me appreciative that she isn't always like that.
Tris arrives back in the Dauntless compound and has to force the wrath of Eric. Oh dear lord, help her now. Thank god before he can snap, Four walks in. He is going to save the day, I just know it! He helps Tris with a fabulous lie to tell Eric; Tris tried to kiss Four, but he rejected her and she ran off crying. Eric believes it because he wants to find anything to make Tris seem vulnerable. This gets Tris out of trouble, and out of a room with Eric. Four leaves as well and kisses her. DAWH. He tells her to meet him later.. Scandalous.....
Before it is time for her to meet Four, she has a conversation with Christina back in the dorm. She finds out Will and Christina have a thing going on! She also finds out about the Candor initiation, and Christina's fear of moths. But after whole mumbojumbo, she finds herself in a train car with Four, heading towards the Erudite compound. Things get pretty serious on the trip there with all of their kissing and what not! Anyhow, back to the important issue. Four reveals something life changing. Dauntless and Erudite are planning to team up on a war against Abnegation.
"And I am someone who does not let inconsequential things like boys and near death experiences stop her."
Chapter 27
Tris has what I like to call "fangirl syndrome". She wakes up and is still giggly about her and Four KISSING. (It's still a big deal to me, okay?) She is trying to suppress her giddiness, but can't help it.. That is until Four doesn't sit with her in the dining hall. She realizes that she is being silly thinking that things will be so much different now that they have kissed. Not going to lie, I was a little sad that he wasn't like Romeo now, even though that's completely unlike him.
Today is Fear Landscape day. Since the initiates haven't seen any type of demonstrations that would ready them for this, they aren't going to see theirs.. Yet. Instead they are assigned one of the instructor's (Lauren) fears. Tris watches as the others face Lauren's fears, but she cannot see the simulation, as she is not hooked up to the computer. I think in her position it would be hard not to laugh, seeing people freak out about something that you can't see. However, it isn't funny when Tris is forced to face Lauren's fear of being kidnapped.
She isn't nervous in the beginning. She kind of feels above the others, since she has already been in Four's Fear Landscape. But something goes terribly wrong. The fear transforms into her own. She can hear the chasm behind her and the reenactment of her own kidnapping begins. She loses it. She screams and cries, as any normal person would, having to relive that experience. Suddenly, she hears a voice yell stop.
The simulation disappears and she is once more in the cement Fear Landscape room. Four is the one who stopped the simulation. He beings yelling at her. "What the hell was that, Stiff? Get yourself together! This is pathetic." My little heart broke. This is the first time I wanted to hit him. How could he say that to her?! In front of everyone nonetheless. Tris isn't about to take the business. She smacks him. I laughed really hard.. "Shut up," she says as she exits the room. Dang, talk about strong independent woman that doesn't need no man.
"I yank my arm from his grasp and walk out of the room."
Today is Fear Landscape day. Since the initiates haven't seen any type of demonstrations that would ready them for this, they aren't going to see theirs.. Yet. Instead they are assigned one of the instructor's (Lauren) fears. Tris watches as the others face Lauren's fears, but she cannot see the simulation, as she is not hooked up to the computer. I think in her position it would be hard not to laugh, seeing people freak out about something that you can't see. However, it isn't funny when Tris is forced to face Lauren's fear of being kidnapped.
She isn't nervous in the beginning. She kind of feels above the others, since she has already been in Four's Fear Landscape. But something goes terribly wrong. The fear transforms into her own. She can hear the chasm behind her and the reenactment of her own kidnapping begins. She loses it. She screams and cries, as any normal person would, having to relive that experience. Suddenly, she hears a voice yell stop.
The simulation disappears and she is once more in the cement Fear Landscape room. Four is the one who stopped the simulation. He beings yelling at her. "What the hell was that, Stiff? Get yourself together! This is pathetic." My little heart broke. This is the first time I wanted to hit him. How could he say that to her?! In front of everyone nonetheless. Tris isn't about to take the business. She smacks him. I laughed really hard.. "Shut up," she says as she exits the room. Dang, talk about strong independent woman that doesn't need no man.
"I yank my arm from his grasp and walk out of the room."
Friday, May 17, 2013
Chapter 26
Tris and Four are still spending time together after going through Four's Fear Landscape. He just told her he has something else that he wants to show her. Ooooh. Mysterious. I love it. They hold hands on their way there, and Tris is all paranoid that she is doing something wrong, which I think has to do with the fact that she was never exposed to affection in Abnegation. Poor child. She verbally sorts things out with him, like how his fears haven't changed since initiation.
They reach the chasm and Tris brings up the subject of Four's aptitude test. As much as she wants to be romantic, and I want them to be cute, she has to know his results or the curiosity will kill her. I understand, but it could have waited. Just sayingggg. Anyway, Four's results? Abnegation. Tris asks him why he left and I kinda wanted to bop her on the head.. Excuse me, but if you don't remember, one of his four fears is his father beating him with a belt?! Of course he is going to leave. Derp.
Four and Tris have an in-depth conversation because Four decides to open up. He brings up his opinion that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. That sure is food for thought. Tris thinks about how she left Abnegation because she never felt selflessness enough, but throughout her initiation, she has shown signs of it all the time. It makes me wonder which faction would have truly been better for her.
Things get a little on the flirty side, so naturally I am freaking out. She finally tells him that she is worried about him not liking her because he is older and he responds with sarcastic remark about how two years is SUCH a long time. I giggled. I like his sense of humor. But then... THEN.. He gives her a look. Not just A look, but THE look. Ya know what look I'm talking about. And then get this. Prep yourself. You might want to sit down for this. THEY KISS!!! I absolutely freaked out! FINALLY! The moment I have been waiting for since she met Four! To put in perspective how much I freaked out about this, I'll just say I may or may not have had to close the book so I could roll on the floor making dying whale noises. You're welcome for that mental image.
"Yes, that whopping two-year gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?"
They reach the chasm and Tris brings up the subject of Four's aptitude test. As much as she wants to be romantic, and I want them to be cute, she has to know his results or the curiosity will kill her. I understand, but it could have waited. Just sayingggg. Anyway, Four's results? Abnegation. Tris asks him why he left and I kinda wanted to bop her on the head.. Excuse me, but if you don't remember, one of his four fears is his father beating him with a belt?! Of course he is going to leave. Derp.
Four and Tris have an in-depth conversation because Four decides to open up. He brings up his opinion that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. That sure is food for thought. Tris thinks about how she left Abnegation because she never felt selflessness enough, but throughout her initiation, she has shown signs of it all the time. It makes me wonder which faction would have truly been better for her.
Things get a little on the flirty side, so naturally I am freaking out. She finally tells him that she is worried about him not liking her because he is older and he responds with sarcastic remark about how two years is SUCH a long time. I giggled. I like his sense of humor. But then... THEN.. He gives her a look. Not just A look, but THE look. Ya know what look I'm talking about. And then get this. Prep yourself. You might want to sit down for this. THEY KISS!!! I absolutely freaked out! FINALLY! The moment I have been waiting for since she met Four! To put in perspective how much I freaked out about this, I'll just say I may or may not have had to close the book so I could roll on the floor making dying whale noises. You're welcome for that mental image.
"Yes, that whopping two-year gap really is insurmountable, isn't it?"
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Chapter 25
Because her friends are so amazing, Tris has a night dedicated to feeling better. They start off by getting tattoos, and then continue to the chasm where they tear up the Erudite articles about Abnegation and throw them down to float away. I feel like most people would think this is a silly way to feel better, but I've done something similar, I wrote a letter to the person I was angry at and then burned it, and it made me feel so much better. It might be because I'm a bit of a pyromaniac, but that's aside the point. Because nerves are high, Tris and Will almost get into an argument with each one defending their old faction. Luckily Christina breaks it up. That's why Tris notices that Will and Christina have been awfully physically lately. I sense a relationship! While they are being infatuated with each other, Tris decides to follow Four, since she caught a glimpse of him walking up the the glass building above the Pit.
Even though she thinks she is being sneaky, Four knows that Tris is following him. Secretly, I think he wanted her to. He decides to let her see his fear landscape. This is a huge freaking deal. "There are some things I want to show you," he says to her. Excuse me while I freak out about that. He trusts her so much that he is willing to let her see him when he is most vulnerable; when he is facing his worst fears. If that isn't love I don't know what is. Then he takes her hand, and they are about to enter the simulation..
The first fear is a tad bit predictable; heights. Tris already knew about this one, and it really isn't that interesting or important, so I'm moving on. Second fear; confinement. I don't quite understand this one. It seemed pretty random to me, especially since I didn't pick up on any reasoning as to why it would be one of his fears. But it is super cute because even though Four is scared out of his mind, he still manages to be adorable and I love him. Third fear; he must shoot a woman. He has to kill her. He has obviously practiced with this one because it doesn't take much time at all. Now.. For the last fear. This one is tough. Marcus, an Abnegation leader appears in front of Tris and Four. All of a sudden it makes sense. Four is Marcus's son. Tobias. (I totally figured this out earlier in the book, but it was still pretty exciting to have my suspicions confirmed.) Marcus holds a belt in his hand. Suddenly a dozen Marcuses appear. Four is about to be whipped, but Tris leaps in front of him. (Awwwwwhhhh :D) Four pushes in front of her nd just like that, the Fear Landscape is over. He only had four fears.. OH WAIT. THAT'S WHY HIS NAME IS FOUR. I GET IT. That is sarcasm. It is pretty easy to figure out once he tells her to guess why his name is Four right before they enter his Fear Landscape. Four tells her Tris got him through it. My little heart couldn't handle it.
"Tobias pushes me behind him so he stands between me and Marcus. He looks angry, not afraid."
Even though she thinks she is being sneaky, Four knows that Tris is following him. Secretly, I think he wanted her to. He decides to let her see his fear landscape. This is a huge freaking deal. "There are some things I want to show you," he says to her. Excuse me while I freak out about that. He trusts her so much that he is willing to let her see him when he is most vulnerable; when he is facing his worst fears. If that isn't love I don't know what is. Then he takes her hand, and they are about to enter the simulation..
The first fear is a tad bit predictable; heights. Tris already knew about this one, and it really isn't that interesting or important, so I'm moving on. Second fear; confinement. I don't quite understand this one. It seemed pretty random to me, especially since I didn't pick up on any reasoning as to why it would be one of his fears. But it is super cute because even though Four is scared out of his mind, he still manages to be adorable and I love him. Third fear; he must shoot a woman. He has to kill her. He has obviously practiced with this one because it doesn't take much time at all. Now.. For the last fear. This one is tough. Marcus, an Abnegation leader appears in front of Tris and Four. All of a sudden it makes sense. Four is Marcus's son. Tobias. (I totally figured this out earlier in the book, but it was still pretty exciting to have my suspicions confirmed.) Marcus holds a belt in his hand. Suddenly a dozen Marcuses appear. Four is about to be whipped, but Tris leaps in front of him. (Awwwwwhhhh :D) Four pushes in front of her nd just like that, the Fear Landscape is over. He only had four fears.. OH WAIT. THAT'S WHY HIS NAME IS FOUR. I GET IT. That is sarcasm. It is pretty easy to figure out once he tells her to guess why his name is Four right before they enter his Fear Landscape. Four tells her Tris got him through it. My little heart couldn't handle it.
"Tobias pushes me behind him so he stands between me and Marcus. He looks angry, not afraid."
Chapter 24
Today brings a major plot twist. Tris is woken up by a hysterical Christina, saying something about Al. Like we want to hear anymore about him.. Whatever. Christina leads Tris to the chasm, running the whole way there. As soon as they arrive, Tris sees Dauntless members hoisting something from the chasm.. A body. Al's body. I didn't see that coming. I mean even though I hated Al I didn't want him to die. Tris is suddenly haunted by his memories, thinking of his sobs the first night in Dauntless, and when he carried her into the dining hall.
Tris finds herself drinking tea with Tori not too much later. I like Tori. She seems like a very trustworthy person, and that means a lot if it is said about a Dauntless as they are so unpredictable. Tori does all she can to help Tris through Al's suicide, but tea won't cut it. Funerals in Dauntless are so different than those she remembers from back home. In Abnegation, everyone would take part in making sure the family was okay, and it gave them a sense of community. Here, they just drink their problems away and try to keep emotions out of their heads. It really disgusted me how they dealt with it actually.
Al's funeral is about to begin, but before it does, Molly has to make a remark about an article written about Abnegation. Tris is fed up and punches her in the face.. I was so freaking excited. It's about time Tris hit her because I was about to. I don't care if that's not possible, I would find a way. Eric is speaking about Al, and says that he has done a brave thing by jumping off the chasm. Brave? Is that really what he considers brave? Tris can't stand it any longer and has to leave.
She finds herself at the water fountain she was kidnapped by. Four sneaks behind her and engages in a conversation about Al's death. Tris has had enough, and can't keep herself from saying exactly what she feels. Four lets her continue until she says, "This would have never happened in Abnegation!" Oops Tris, too far. Four warns her to be careful about what she says since she is already being kept a close eye on. She finds out that Four has been trying to push her until she breaks because he wants to see how hard it is. That's why he has been paying so much attention to her during the initiation stages. There is some part of the conversation that makes Tris think Four came from a different faction.. Abnegation actually.. Weird....
"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating."
Tris finds herself drinking tea with Tori not too much later. I like Tori. She seems like a very trustworthy person, and that means a lot if it is said about a Dauntless as they are so unpredictable. Tori does all she can to help Tris through Al's suicide, but tea won't cut it. Funerals in Dauntless are so different than those she remembers from back home. In Abnegation, everyone would take part in making sure the family was okay, and it gave them a sense of community. Here, they just drink their problems away and try to keep emotions out of their heads. It really disgusted me how they dealt with it actually.
Al's funeral is about to begin, but before it does, Molly has to make a remark about an article written about Abnegation. Tris is fed up and punches her in the face.. I was so freaking excited. It's about time Tris hit her because I was about to. I don't care if that's not possible, I would find a way. Eric is speaking about Al, and says that he has done a brave thing by jumping off the chasm. Brave? Is that really what he considers brave? Tris can't stand it any longer and has to leave.
She finds herself at the water fountain she was kidnapped by. Four sneaks behind her and engages in a conversation about Al's death. Tris has had enough, and can't keep herself from saying exactly what she feels. Four lets her continue until she says, "This would have never happened in Abnegation!" Oops Tris, too far. Four warns her to be careful about what she says since she is already being kept a close eye on. She finds out that Four has been trying to push her until she breaks because he wants to see how hard it is. That's why he has been paying so much attention to her during the initiation stages. There is some part of the conversation that makes Tris think Four came from a different faction.. Abnegation actually.. Weird....
"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating."
Chapter 23
Today is the day she must face the others. In my opinion, this is the bravest thing she has had to do yet. But before that, she describes how her night when. She slept in the room she woke up in that morning because she wasn't strong enough to sleep in the dormitory yet. She admits to herself that she likes Four (FINALLY). In the morning when she is getting ready, she catches a glance of Four without his shirt on.. Jealous.. He leads her out to the dining hall when she decides that even if she has to pretend to be weak, she can never let it be true.
Unfortunately, pretending to be weak isn't very hard for Tris at this point since she has been beaten senseless and is bruised and cut up everywhere. Things get much better when Drew walks in though. He is black and blue all over. His lip is split and it is obvious that Four didn't let him off easy. I was really satisfied at that point. So was Tris. Uriah, Will, and Christina are all making sure that they protect Tris and that made me very happy. I am glad that even though nearly everyone in this book is out to get Tris, she still has a few people on her side.
Today the initiates are going to do something new. As they are trudging higher from the floor of the Pit, Drew falls behind, probably due to his injuries. Four tells him to pick up the pace. I know it's terrible, but I laughed a lot at that. Drew had what he got coming for him, so I guess I don't actually feel that bad. They arrive on top of the glass ceiling, so now it is a floor to them. Four shows them what is called a Fear Landscape. It is basically a combination of all of the things they have worked on so far. Each initiate has to face their own fears, which is usually between ten and fifteen, and how quickly they can complete it determines their rank for stage three, the most important of the three stages. After this is explained, Peter makes some comment about how it isn't fair.. Four says exactly what I was thinking when he replies with something along the lines of, "You really think you want me to talk about what is fair with you? I'm sure you are frightened because the events that happened last night proved you to be a coward. You are afraid of a a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." SLAM. SICK BURN.
Back in the dormitory after the trip with Four, Tris finds herself confronted by Al. He is an emotional wreck. He is sobbing like a little girl and he asks for her forgiveness. She has a slight internal battle about it, but ultimately tells him not to ever talk to her again. It seems harsh, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.
"Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"
Unfortunately, pretending to be weak isn't very hard for Tris at this point since she has been beaten senseless and is bruised and cut up everywhere. Things get much better when Drew walks in though. He is black and blue all over. His lip is split and it is obvious that Four didn't let him off easy. I was really satisfied at that point. So was Tris. Uriah, Will, and Christina are all making sure that they protect Tris and that made me very happy. I am glad that even though nearly everyone in this book is out to get Tris, she still has a few people on her side.
Today the initiates are going to do something new. As they are trudging higher from the floor of the Pit, Drew falls behind, probably due to his injuries. Four tells him to pick up the pace. I know it's terrible, but I laughed a lot at that. Drew had what he got coming for him, so I guess I don't actually feel that bad. They arrive on top of the glass ceiling, so now it is a floor to them. Four shows them what is called a Fear Landscape. It is basically a combination of all of the things they have worked on so far. Each initiate has to face their own fears, which is usually between ten and fifteen, and how quickly they can complete it determines their rank for stage three, the most important of the three stages. After this is explained, Peter makes some comment about how it isn't fair.. Four says exactly what I was thinking when he replies with something along the lines of, "You really think you want me to talk about what is fair with you? I'm sure you are frightened because the events that happened last night proved you to be a coward. You are afraid of a a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." SLAM. SICK BURN.
Back in the dormitory after the trip with Four, Tris finds herself confronted by Al. He is an emotional wreck. He is sobbing like a little girl and he asks for her forgiveness. She has a slight internal battle about it, but ultimately tells him not to ever talk to her again. It seems harsh, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.
"Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"
Chapter 22
Tris wakes up in the hospital after the dramatic turn of events unfolded and she was nearly killed. Four, being the chivalrous man he is, is already with her, taking care of her. She finds out that Four put Drew in the infirmary and I laughed because I hate Drew and he totally deserved it. Four tells her that she has to pretend to be vulnerable if she wants to stand a chance of making it in Dauntless. Peter, Drew, and Al tried to kill her because they thought she stood in the way of them becoming members (which she did because she is ten times better than them at simulations). If she wants to be left alone, she has to be able to convince them she shouldn't be seen as a threat.
Throughout Tris's short stay in the hospital, she starts to realize that Four truly cares about her. I noticed he is always looking out for her almost like he has made a commitment to himself to make sure she is safe. It is the first time she is allowing herself to be weak in front of Four, and he still thinks she is as wonderful as ever. He tells her say she has to pretend to be weak even though she seems to think she won't have to do much pretending. This says a lot about the way Four looks at Tris. He sees her as the strong girl she is.
She tries to protest when Four tells her that she is going to have to act like none of it phased her. She tries to tell him that they touched her, but she realizes it is really awkward to talk about with him, so she drops it. Personally, I don't see the significance of that whole part in the book. Isn't it enough for her to almost die? I don't understand why she brought it up to Four either. But I guess it doesn't matter all that much. At least not right now.
Four surprises her slightly when he says he is looking forward to her ruining them when she gets the chance and I laughed because I had the exact same thought. This is the first time she has been so physically impaired that it is affecting her emotional state. I can't even imagine what that must be like because I haven't suffered any major injuries. I suppose you could say I gained a little more knowledge on how to empathize then!
"There are tears on my face, but neither of us mentions or even acknowledges them."
Throughout Tris's short stay in the hospital, she starts to realize that Four truly cares about her. I noticed he is always looking out for her almost like he has made a commitment to himself to make sure she is safe. It is the first time she is allowing herself to be weak in front of Four, and he still thinks she is as wonderful as ever. He tells her say she has to pretend to be weak even though she seems to think she won't have to do much pretending. This says a lot about the way Four looks at Tris. He sees her as the strong girl she is.
She tries to protest when Four tells her that she is going to have to act like none of it phased her. She tries to tell him that they touched her, but she realizes it is really awkward to talk about with him, so she drops it. Personally, I don't see the significance of that whole part in the book. Isn't it enough for her to almost die? I don't understand why she brought it up to Four either. But I guess it doesn't matter all that much. At least not right now.
Four surprises her slightly when he says he is looking forward to her ruining them when she gets the chance and I laughed because I had the exact same thought. This is the first time she has been so physically impaired that it is affecting her emotional state. I can't even imagine what that must be like because I haven't suffered any major injuries. I suppose you could say I gained a little more knowledge on how to empathize then!
"There are tears on my face, but neither of us mentions or even acknowledges them."
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Chapter 21
Fast forward four days from the last time we checked in on Tris. Honestly I found this time gap really stranger. The pacing of the book makes it seem like every day counts and it is important to know what goes on, on a daily basis. Now they are just leaving out four days. Anyhow, Erudite is still trash talking Abnegation because they are a bunch of jerks, and Tris needs to get rid of some pent up frustration. She decides to talk a walk back to the net that caught her after she jumped from the building on her first day at the Dauntless compound. She lets herself think and looks at the world around her, admiring its beauty. I think it is amazing that no matter what happens, you can always rely on nature to be astonishing if you really look at it. She replays the past in her head while enjoying the quiet and alone. This sounds a lot like me nowadays. Lately all I've been wanting to do is lay on my bench swing, stare at the stars, and think.
Tris has faced four new fears in the days that have passed, each I think relating back to her fear of losing control. Today's fear? Tris must shoot her entire family or she will be shot. She tells herself the whole "it's just a simulation, it isn't real" mantra, but it doesn't seem to be doing much if anything at all. Her and the others are going through complete hell because of the simulations. Rankings for stage two come out and guess what guys... Tris is ranked FIRST. Of course this gets Peter all fussy because he's a prick. But he isn't the only one her rating upsets. Al, who was ranked last, takes out his anger on her by blaming her. He is breaking down, so she does the only thing she can and leaves him alone.
Tris takes another adventure with Uriah and his gang to the room where Tris learned to fire a gun because he has a bet with Lynn that he could shoot a muffin off her head but she will flinch. I like how that's what they do with their time. Anyway, they get in a little trouble when Four and other members walk in because they aren't technically supposed to be there. Four stops Tris on her way out and tells her she belongs in Dauntless. It made me smile.
That night, Tris gets out of bed to get a drink of water when she hears a female's voice talking with Eric. While she is trying to figure out who it belongs to, she is kidnapped. The kidnappers who end up being Peter, Drew, and Al (this was what I was hinting about earlier.. he doesn't stay a good guy forever.) They take her to the chasm and Peter violates her. Al tells him to stop, but like Peter would listen. They nearly kill her when Four busts in like the knight in shining armor he is and beats the pulp out of Drew, scaring the other two away. I'm not saying I encourage violence, but when Drew got the snot beat out of him, I was internally screaming with victory. Once again, Peter and Drew are awful excuses for human beings and don't deserve to be classified as the same species as Tris, and Four is a god. So, that's that.
"The night sky is empty and silent, and for the first time in four days, so is my mind."
Tris has faced four new fears in the days that have passed, each I think relating back to her fear of losing control. Today's fear? Tris must shoot her entire family or she will be shot. She tells herself the whole "it's just a simulation, it isn't real" mantra, but it doesn't seem to be doing much if anything at all. Her and the others are going through complete hell because of the simulations. Rankings for stage two come out and guess what guys... Tris is ranked FIRST. Of course this gets Peter all fussy because he's a prick. But he isn't the only one her rating upsets. Al, who was ranked last, takes out his anger on her by blaming her. He is breaking down, so she does the only thing she can and leaves him alone.
Tris takes another adventure with Uriah and his gang to the room where Tris learned to fire a gun because he has a bet with Lynn that he could shoot a muffin off her head but she will flinch. I like how that's what they do with their time. Anyway, they get in a little trouble when Four and other members walk in because they aren't technically supposed to be there. Four stops Tris on her way out and tells her she belongs in Dauntless. It made me smile.
That night, Tris gets out of bed to get a drink of water when she hears a female's voice talking with Eric. While she is trying to figure out who it belongs to, she is kidnapped. The kidnappers who end up being Peter, Drew, and Al (this was what I was hinting about earlier.. he doesn't stay a good guy forever.) They take her to the chasm and Peter violates her. Al tells him to stop, but like Peter would listen. They nearly kill her when Four busts in like the knight in shining armor he is and beats the pulp out of Drew, scaring the other two away. I'm not saying I encourage violence, but when Drew got the snot beat out of him, I was internally screaming with victory. Once again, Peter and Drew are awful excuses for human beings and don't deserve to be classified as the same species as Tris, and Four is a god. So, that's that.
"The night sky is empty and silent, and for the first time in four days, so is my mind."
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